My little brother, Esau, came home from Boy Scout camp early this year with a busted mouth.\u00a0 He was playing Luke Skywalker versus Darth Vader with his puny Boy Scouts of America flashlight against Chad Miller who wielded a Mag-Lite.\u00a0 Two of Esau\u2019s teeth broke off, leaving a gap in the top of his mouth.\u00a0 The camp nurse stitched Esau\u2019s cheek and put a sling around his jaw.\u00a0 He came home holding an ice pack to his swollen face.\u00a0 He\u2019d been up all night and was sedated with pills.\u00a0 The camp nurse had called ahead, so we knew what to expect.\u00a0 For weeks Esau sucked milkshakes through bendy straws.\u00a0 He was a mush-mouth.\u00a0 Two days passed before we understood him, when he asked for gold caps.<\/p>\n
\u201cGan I get gold gaps?\u201d he said.<\/p>\n
\u201cCold what?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cFor my teef.\u201d<\/p>\n
Mom vetoed that.\u00a0 We lived in Oaken Bluffs Trailer Village on her waitress salary.\u00a0 Dad wanted us to call him \u201cBill\u201d and sent postcards.<\/p>\n
\u201cEsau needs a CAT scan,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe needs a reality check, Sarah,\u201d Mom said.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe don\u2019t own insurance,\u201d I explained to Esau.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe should shoe,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n
\u201cCan\u2019t,\u201d Mom said.\u00a0 \u201cI signed the permission slip.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWe could sue the Millers,\u201d I suggested.<\/p>\n
\u201cI thought Ryan Miller was your boyfriend?\u201d Mom said.<\/p>\n
\u201cFriend,\u201d I said.\u00a0 \u201cWon\u2019t make a difference to them.\u00a0 They\u2019re loaded.\u201d<\/p>\n
Mom called a cab.\u00a0 The Fosters were going to pay a visit.\u00a0 We knew most of the cabbies\u2014this one was a guy named Sal.\u00a0 He listened to Nat King Cole, Ella Fitzgerald, and Mel Torme.\u00a0 He said show tunes put him in a \u201cdelta mood.\u201d\u00a0 I don\u2019t know what kind of mood that was.\u00a0 Mostly he cussed out the other drivers.\u00a0 I knew where the Millers lived because I had been there once.\u00a0 I sat in the front and gave Sal directions through their winding subdivision.\u00a0 Me, Mom, and Esau went up to the door.\u00a0 Mom rang and Dr. Miller answered.<\/p>\n
After introductions Mom said, \u201cDon\u2019t stand there, Doc.\u00a0 Look him over.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m a podiatrist,\u201d Dr. Miller said as he knelt.<\/p>\n
\u201cYour son did this, Dr. Miller.\u00a0 What are you<\/em> going to do about it?\u201d<\/p>\n Dr. Miller stood up.\u00a0 He ran a hand through his hair and hooked a thumb onto his belt loop.\u00a0 He called Mom an alcoholic and opportunistic.\u00a0 Then he nodded at the house next door, or what I presume was next door, an enormous brown A-frame some ways off, the roof covered with solar panels.<\/p>\n \u201cNewlyweds,\u201d Dr. Miller said.\u00a0 \u201cThey\u2019re in practice together.\u00a0 He\u2019s an orthodontist and she\u2019s an oral surgeon.\u00a0 Sometimes they take charity.\u00a0 I could ask.\u201d<\/p>\n That sounded great.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t mind Dr. Miller calling us charity.\u00a0 I prayed it would happen.\u00a0 Charity was right and true and good.\u00a0 We rode home in the cab feeling uplifted.<\/p>\n But that night after Esau had gone to bed, me and Mom saw Shelton Angel the ambulance lawyer pitching his commercial on TV.\u00a0 A fake client with crutches waved a fanned-out stack of play money.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m not promising $300,000 on every<\/em> case,\u201d Shelton said.\u00a0 \u201cBut I will work for the money you deserve.\u201d\u00a0 He wore a seafoam colored suit and an immodest amount of gold.\u00a0 His rings were set with large yellow diamonds.\u00a0 Shelton\u2019s whitish-orange hair was swept over his bald crown and pinned there with hairspray.\u00a0 The client had an ACE bandage wrapped around his head like Johnny Tremain.<\/p>\n \u201cHe looks greedy,\u201d I said.\u00a0 \u201cWe should hire him.\u00a0 He\u2019ll make the Millers pay.\u00a0 It says free.\u201d<\/p>\n Mom said she\u2019d go for the consultation but I had to keep it from Esau who couldn\u2019t be trusted with secrets.\u00a0 Mom said not to say anything to Ryan Miller either, which wasn\u2019t easy, since I saw him all the time.\u00a0 Now in the back of my mind I was always singing, \u201cRyan Miller, we\u2019re suing your rich ass!\u201d<\/p>\n Shelton Angel became our lawyer.\u00a0 He said suing the Miller\u2019s was a coup-de-grace<\/em> idea but he didn\u2019t think we should give up on the camp.<\/p>\n \u201cThe onus is on them,\u201d Shelton said. \u00a0\u201cJust because you sign a piece of paper doesn\u2019t mean they can bully you.\u00a0 They let your son get clobbered, Ms. Foster.\u00a0 And they act like it\u2019s your fault.\u00a0 You\u2019re entitled to reparations.\u201d\u00a0 Shelton referred Esau to a psychologist, which he hated, but Shelton said psychological damage was money in the bank, so we had little choice.<\/p>\n All through grade school I\u2019d grown up with Ryan Miller as my dream date.\u00a0 The girls at school called Ryan\u2019s dad \u201cDr. Miller, the fox.\u201d\u00a0 I observed Ryan, not so much to adore him as to imagine the colorful walk-in closet of a doctor\u2019s wife.\u00a0 The fantasy Ryan was more like his daddy in my mind, only under my control.\u00a0 But that wasn\u2019t the real Dr. Miller at all, because he divorced Ryan\u2019s mom right after Chad was born.\u00a0 Ryan showed me both sets of wedding pictures, back when Dr. Miller was white-hot.\u00a0 And we both agreed Ryan\u2019s real mom looked like me.\u00a0 But who was I kidding?<\/p>\n So I didn\u2019t date Ryan but he rode his bike over and we sat out on the side stoop.\u00a0 We talked about the change of seasons, songs we liked, people we hated, stuff on TV, the smell of burning leaves.\u00a0 Ryan and I weren\u2019t allowed in the trailer anymore if Mom wasn\u2019t home\u2014it was a rule.\u00a0 Not since she caught us in her room when I had his Levi\u2019s off.\u00a0 But Ryan wasn\u2019t my boyfriend.\u00a0 He was just a friend.\u00a0 I liked him because he did what I said.\u00a0 We sat out on the stoop until the sun dropped, whether Mom was home or not.\u00a0 We weren\u2019t romantic but sometimes I caught a glimpse of the Ryan I wanted, and I kissed him.<\/p>\n He felt bad about his little brother hitting mine.\u00a0 He assured me it was an accident.<\/p>\n \u201cPlaying \u2018lightsabers\u2019 with flashlights is pretty dumb,\u201d he said.\u00a0 \u201cSomeone was bound to get tagged.\u201d<\/p>\n Ryan made me a mixed tape but we didn\u2019t have a tape deck on our stereo so I brought it with me to Wendy McGrath\u2019s slumber party.\u00a0 The tape was a bunch of cheesy love ballads off of Rock 104.\u00a0 The girls at the slumber party swayed in mock-amorous groping couples, slow dancing barefoot on sleeping bags we\u2019d unzipped and laid out on the carpet.\u00a0 Bits of popcorn were everywhere and getting stuck between our toes.\u00a0 Whenever the cavernous throat of Voodoo Mack the D.J. came on the tape all the girls coughed and gagged.\u00a0 Somewhere along the line they\u2019d lost interest in Ryan Miller.\u00a0 I explained how it was between me and Ryan:<\/p>\n \u201cHe likes me but I don\u2019t care.\u00a0 Sometimes when he comes over I have Esau answer the door with the message that he should fuck off.\u201d<\/p>\n Ever since Esau got hit at camp he liked doing stuff like that.\u00a0 \u201cShe don\u2019 won you, Ron,\u201d he would say.<\/p>\n Dr. Miller had written us a scrip for Amoxicillin, so the swelling had gone down in Esau\u2019s cheek, but he was forever a mush-mouth.\u00a0 Meanwhile school had started up and Esau was meeting with the speech teacher who gave him poems to memorize, which helped, especially Marianne Moore.\u00a0 But when he was upset, which was enough of the time, he was hard to understand.\u00a0 Most people never understood a word.\u00a0 They didn\u2019t have much patience with him and there was always the possibility his spit might land on you.\u00a0 The psychologist told Mom Esau\u2019s speech problems were psychological.\u00a0 Of course he would say that.<\/p>\n Esau slammed our trailer door and Ryan Miller nursed his pride and walked his Schwinn back down Oaken Bluffs Boulevard until he rolled over the last speed bump.\u00a0 Like the Capulets and the Montagues.\u00a0 He mounted the bike and turned to see if I was watching.\u00a0 Romeo and Juliet were the perfect example of romantic love.\u00a0 We had been reading Romeo and Juliet<\/em> and memorizing the speeches from Hamlet<\/em> and MacBeth<\/em> for Ms. Haslitt.\u00a0 \u201cOl\u2019 Will,\u201d she called him.\u00a0 Ryan only got the half of it.\u00a0 He always thought in relation to himself, as if he were unable to view Shakespeare in any other light.\u00a0 Sometimes I wondered if Ryan listened to Haslitt at all.\u00a0 For example, when she said, \u201cThere is a block of time where Romeo and Juliet might have<\/em>,\u201d the remark flew right over Ryan\u2019s head.\u00a0 I explained to him on the phone after school what she meant and the next day in class Ryan asked Haslitt point-blank:\u00a0 \u201cDid you say Romeo and Juliet did it<\/em>?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIf you want to believe so, Ryan,\u201d she said, \u201cyou\u2019re free to.\u00a0 Scholars will back you.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cEither did they or didn\u2019t they?\u201d he said.\u00a0 \u201cWe want to know.\u201d<\/p>\n He stopped his bike where Oaken Bluffs intersected County Road Eleven and waited for the traffic.\u00a0 He looked back once more and I felt a pang.\u00a0 I wanted to run out to him.\u00a0 He wasn\u2019t much but he was mine.<\/p>\n The one time Ryan had me over I noticed his father\u2019s presence everywhere, though the doctor was not in.\u00a0 His Tudor home, his study, his rec room, his Apple II computer, his Wall Street Journal<\/em>, his shelves of black leatherbound medical books, his LPs, his stacks of Photo<\/em> and Architectural Digest<\/em>, his Dictaphone, his gorgeous second wife, his remote-control model Cessna, his King Tut pinball machine, his snooker table, his whisky decanters, his macaw.\u00a0 Ryan\u2019s stepmom doted on us while Ryan spun Kinks records.\u00a0 I thought how wonderful it must be for them when the doctor was in.\u00a0 Marrying a doctor was a dream.\u00a0 Ryan lived in a doctor\u2019s home filled with doctor\u2019s things.\u00a0 They had a maid, the security of a doctor\u2019s presence, and the beatitudes of a doctor\u2019s mind.\u00a0 And for now Ryan remained unspoiled by it all.\u00a0 But I knew when he turned sixteen he would usurp his stepmom\u2019s red LeBaron convertible and he\u2019d steal from the whisky decanters.\u00a0 He was already dropping hints.\u00a0 So I still thought of Ryan as mine though he didn\u2019t have the guts to stand up to my little brother.<\/p>\n Esau mostly watched TV and he never wanted to go outside.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t talk much either, from embarrassment for the way he sounded.\u00a0 The psychologist asked Esau what it was like inside his cracked head.\u00a0 He expected Esau to articulate himself when the psychologist knew more than anyone what a nervous yolk he was.<\/p>\n \u201cA psychologist\u2019s not a doctor,\u201d I said.\u00a0 \u201cHe can\u2019t fix you.\u00a0 They play tricks to keep you coming back.\u00a0 He\u2019ll get you talking though.\u00a0 You wait and see.\u201d<\/p>\n I started calling Ryan Miller more often and telling him to come over when Mom was gone.\u00a0 I was supposed to be babysitting Esau, who we left glued to the TV.\u00a0 I took Ryan into Mom\u2019s room and locked the door.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t mind being alone with Ryan then.\u00a0 And Esau would never tell on us.\u00a0 He hated Ryan but I was Esau\u2019s only friend, so he couldn\u2019t afford to rat.<\/p>\n Esau never wanted to be a Boy Scout but Mom thought he needed to be around men.\u00a0 She bought the whole Boy Scout regimen one day at J.C. Penny\u2019s: B.S.A. handbook, uniform, pocket knife, compass, flashlight, canteen, poncho, backpack, sleeping bag.\u00a0 That was going to be our time together while Esau was at camp.\u00a0 She was going to explain about sex and she said I could ask anything.\u00a0 That was nearly four months ago.\u00a0 Not that I don\u2019t know, mostly I know.\u00a0 Ryan\u2019s dad has colored-pencil drawings of it in one of his medical books.<\/p>\n Ryan knew which book and which pages.\u00a0 He went right for it.\u00a0 I shoved him onto Mom\u2019s unkempt bed and unzipped and unbuttoned his Levi\u2019s.\u00a0 He leaned back and waited.\u00a0 He thought we were going all the way.\u00a0 I imagined Dr. Miller and Ryan\u2019s stepmom in a precise embrace like the figures in the colored-pencil drawings.\u00a0 It would be a long time before Esau knew that kind of love.\u00a0 For me it was around the corner, with Ryan Miller if I wanted.\u00a0 I pulled him to me and he was clammy.<\/p>\n But then Mom\u2019s work-friend, Jackie, rolled up the gravel drive in her Jeep Cherokee to drop off Mom.\u00a0 That\u2019s when I noticed the back off the alarm clock and the battery gone.\u00a0 The second hand frozen.\u00a0 Why would she do that?\u00a0 It made me feel like she did it to trick us.\u00a0 I pushed Ryan off and ran into the front room of the trailer to pretend we\u2019d been watching TV with Esau all along.\u00a0 Ryan came sauntering down the hall behind me like he\u2019d been in the bathroom.\u00a0 Mom came in, waved \u201cbye\u201d to Jackie, and set some bags on the kitchen counter.\u00a0 Ryan hitched his pants and walked past her.<\/p>\n \u201cWhatcha watching?\u201d Mom asked.<\/p>\n I stared at Esau until he answered.\u00a0 It took him several tries but he finally got it right: \u201cGilligan.\u201d<\/p>\n Ryan sat next to me on the floor.\u00a0 \u201cI must have seen this one a hundred million times,\u201d he said.\u00a0 \u201cGilligan gets trapped in a cave by a gigantic spider but the Professor sicks this dove on the thing and it runs away in fast motion.\u201d<\/p>\n Mom tried to act interested.\u00a0 \u201cAre you staying for dinner, Ryan?\u201d she asked.<\/p>\n \u201cNo Ma\u2019am, my stepmom doesn\u2019t allow me out past dark.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI can understand that,\u201d she said.\u00a0 \u201cEspecially on a school night.\u201d\u00a0 She knew he couldn\u2019t stay; she was rubbing it in, she was telling<\/em> him to go.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s getting dark now,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n When she turned her back, Ryan squeezed my hand, and he looked deep into my eyes.\u00a0 He had brown eyes with green specks.<\/p>\n \u201cParting is such sweet sorrow,\u201d he whispered.<\/p>\n I appreciated the sentiment but he didn\u2019t know what he was saying.\u00a0 Parting is sweet<\/em> sorrow, Ryan.<\/p>\n At dinner I could no longer stand Mother.\u00a0 She never had anything interesting or funny to say and she had chased Ryan off.\u00a0 Halfway through the meal she said, \u201cWe forgot to say the blessing.\u201d\u00a0 She made us hold hands and pray then and there after we\u2019d already eaten, when she knew me and Esau didn\u2019t believe in it.<\/p>\n Esau turned up the mush-mouth when he prayed:\u00a0 \u201cGuard ish goot.\u00a0 Guard ish grade…\u201d<\/p>\n Mom made us drink our milk and she slurped hers through a straw, the bendy straws among her booty from the restaurant.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s not stealing, Sarah,\u201d she would say.\u00a0 \u201cI work for these napkins.\u00a0 I work for these straws.\u00a0 I work for the damn plastic cups.\u00a0 I work for the toilet paper, the ashtrays, and our salt and pepper shakers.\u201d\u00a0 She liked to be antagonizing at mealtimes.<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re not on a diet,\u201d she said when I didn\u2019t finish my plate.\u00a0 The easiest way to tolerate her was to shut up and eat.\u00a0 I felt cramped around our kitchen table.\u00a0 The milk was warm and slightly sour.<\/p>\n \u201cYou can have chocolate syrup,\u201d she said.\u00a0 She drank hers with Coco Rico.\u00a0 What I hated most about her was the way she said one thing but did another.\u00a0 Like when she said she hadn\u2019t been drinking, or that she was through with dating.\u00a0 At dinner she said, \u201cThat crummy camp wants to settle,\u201d right in front of Esau when she had forbidden me to say a word.\u00a0 \u201cThey didn\u2019t offer us shit,\u201d she said.\u00a0 \u201cSo I told Shelton to go ahead with plan B.\u201d<\/p>\n They sold cans of Lone Star at her restaurant.\u00a0 She wasn\u2019t supposed to drink on the job, but as long as she paid her tab her boss kept them coming.\u00a0 Esau perked up.\u00a0 He watched a lot of TV and there weren\u2019t too many people named Shelton\u2014he knew exactly what we were talking about.\u00a0 He asked me later and I was forced to confirm his suspicions.\u00a0 I knew I would probably regret it; I could make up some lie, but I felt I had no choice.\u00a0 Mom was always making me decide between hers and someone else\u2019s loyalty.\u00a0 Esau promised he would keep it a secret but he was incapable of that. \u00a0Ryan wouldn\u2019t be allowed to come over once his dad found out.\u00a0 He could hardly get away from his stepmom as it was.<\/p>\n Mom didn\u2019t give Esau the chance to broadcast the news on this one though.\u00a0 She called the Millers herself right after dinner.\u00a0 Ryan\u2019s stepmom answered.<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t much care for my<\/em> children playing with yours<\/em> either,\u201d Mom said.<\/p>\n That spelled the end of me and Ryan.\u00a0 And things had been going better than I was willing to admit.\u00a0 Ryan apologized the next day at school.\u00a0 He said he hated not being able to come over.\u00a0 He even shouted that he loved me one day in the hall and Haslitt heard.\u00a0 She could have given us both detention for that, but she let it slide.\u00a0 The new arrangement with Ryan was all romance, no effort.\u00a0 I was glad he wasn\u2019t allowed over.<\/p>\n Mom said Shelton Angel blew a gasket when she told him about the phone call with Mrs. Miller.\u00a0 Shelton reminded her that if we lost our case and got zero dollars then we were obligated to pay his fees.\u00a0 But good came from the call since Mrs. Miller sped up the charity notion.\u00a0 So that while I was watching CHiPs<\/em> with Esau, one of the newlyweds called.\u00a0 I said Mom was at work and the woman introduced herself as the oral surgeon.\u00a0 She said she wanted to see Esau.\u00a0 I knew Mom\u2019s schedule, so I made an appointment, as late in the day as possible.\u00a0 If we were getting charity I wanted the full treatment.\u00a0 I wanted us the last ones in their office so they might feel obligated to give us a ride home, and they might even treat us to Taco King.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m looking forward to meeting your brother,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n I kidded Esau: \u201cYou might get gold caps after all.\u201d<\/p>\n When the day came for Esau\u2019s dental appointment Mom called a cab.\u00a0 For a long time I had been egging Ryan on about Esau\u2019s appointment.\u00a0 \u201cHis operation might take hours,\u201d I said.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s an opportunity for us to get truly naked.\u201d\u00a0 I told Ryan the date and we counted down the hours.\u00a0 But when the time came I wanted to go along.\u00a0 I wanted to see the newlywed doctors with my own eyes.\u00a0 I wanted to be there when they set things right.<\/p>\n The late appointment was a miscalculation on my part.\u00a0 Mom was tipsy.\u00a0 First Dr. Sanderson appeared at the reception desk and then her husband came out, the orthodontist.\u00a0 Both of them wore green scrubs, hairnets, and surgical masks.\u00a0 They snapped on fresh latex gloves and took Esau back to one of the examination rooms.\u00a0 The chair was adjusted and they wrapped him in a lead bib.\u00a0 They aimed the light at him and poked around in his mouth.\u00a0 They collaborated for a moment, they fired off a round of X-rays, and they reached a simple diagnosis.\u00a0 Esau came out elated.\u00a0 He was holding his X-rays in a manila folder.\u00a0 He pointed out a row of new teeth coming in under the gum line.<\/p>\n \u201cMs. Foster,\u201d Mr. Dr. Sanderson said, \u201cEsau hasn\u2019t lost all his baby teeth.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHe has,\u201d Mom said.\u00a0 \u201cHe\u2019s eleven.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo, he\u2019s going to lose more.\u00a0 He has teeth coming in.\u201d<\/p>\n So that was that.\u00a0 Esau\u2019s speech impediment, his temper, his crooked smile, they would all taper with time.\u00a0 He was a shark.\u00a0 He would outgrow this.\u00a0 One day he would wake up perfectly normal.<\/p>\n Ryan kept calling but I didn\u2019t ask him over.\u00a0 Me and Esau started spending a lot of time watching TV together.\u00a0 He wiggled his teeth and sometimes a piece came out, or a root, or a whole tooth.\u00a0 At the last slumber party Tara Lockhart brought a tape Ryan had made for her. \u00a0None of the girls made fun of the tape and nobody said anything about Voodoo Mack\u2019s stupid voice.\u00a0 We lay in our sleeping bags and stared up into the darkness.\u00a0 Some of the girls said they envied Tara when no one had ever said that to me.\u00a0 I<\/em> envied Tara. \u00a0Her mom never cared when or where she went with whichever boy.\u00a0 Her and Ryan were perfect for each other.\u00a0 They would go straight to couple heaven.\u00a0 So much for Capulets and Montagues.<\/p>\n As if that weren\u2019t enough, Shelton Angel had started calling.\u00a0 He said he was glad things had worked out for Esau but we owed him money.\u00a0 He asked when Mom would be home, which I knew I wasn\u2019t supposed to give out.\u00a0 But Shelton called all the time and he had a way of knowing if I lied.\u00a0 He kept asking when would she be home and when was a good time to come over?<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s Halloween,\u201d I said finally.\u00a0 \u201cShe has to come home to pass out the candy, doesn\u2019t she?\u201d<\/p>\n We didn\u2019t have many trick-or-treaters that year, mostly other trailer park kids.\u00a0 Me and Esau stayed home.\u00a0 Esau couldn\u2019t eat candy and I was too old for the routine.<\/p>\n We had a string of Darth Vaders.\u00a0 The first one showed up early, with the sun yet to go down.\u00a0 The small boy was done up in black clothes with a black mask, black boots, a black cape, and he was waving a flashlight.<\/p>\n \u201cGay Zorro?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n \u201cVader,\u201d he said, then he started in with the heavy breathing:\u00a0 Haa-Pooh.\u00a0 Haa-Pooh.<\/em><\/p>\n So I said, \u201cYou\u2019re early, Vader.\u00a0 Come back after it\u2019s dark.\u201d<\/p>\n Mom came home with peanut butter taffy and Blow Pops.\u00a0 Shelton arrived ten minutes later.\u00a0 She was still in her waitress duds.\u00a0 Shelton was wearing the seafoam suit and jewelry.\u00a0 He handed Mom a bouquet of royal blue daisies.\u00a0 He said he had something confidential to ask, a proposal.\u00a0 Mom put the daisies in a Mason jar with water and she led Shelton into her room.\u00a0 I heard the click of her door locking.\u00a0 Our jack-o\u2019-lantern was lit on the side stoop and a ribbon of sweet smoke wafted into the trailer through the screen door.\u00a0 I sat there with Esau and pretended to watch Ed McMahon\u2019s Star Search<\/em> but my mind was on Mom\u2019s room and the sound of Shelton\u2019s agitated breathing.\u00a0 Now it was dark.<\/p>\n The first Darth Vader came back.\u00a0 He held his flashlight to his mask.\u00a0 \u201cTrick or treat,\u201d he said in a deep voice.<\/p>\n \u201cYou want a Blow-Pop or a taffy?\u201d I said.\u00a0 For a split-second I thought it was Chad, Ryan\u2019s little brother.<\/p>\n \u201cBlow-Pop.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDo the Aqua-lung thing,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n Mom must have had her bedroom window open because Shelton could be heard huffing and puffing outside too.\u00a0 This made the kid self-conscious but he wanted his candy.<\/p>\n \u201cCome on,\u201d I said, and he half-heartedly breathed in and out of the slit in his mask.<\/p>\n \u201cLouder,\u201d I said, and the young Vader became asthmatic, more like the famous cyborg.\u00a0 \u201cLouder,\u201d I said until the kid was a pumping bellows, and I was sure Shelton heard.\u00a0 Who was self-conscious now?\u00a0 I gave the trick-or-treater two Blow Pops and he ran off, cape trailing.<\/p>\n I tried to imagine it was me in Mom\u2019s room with Ryan and I was the one who had locked the door, but my imagination ran dry after I had Ryan\u2019s Levis off.\u00a0 And they didn\u2019t come out until three commercial breaks later.\u00a0 Ol\u2019 Shelton\u2019s face was flushed and his balding crown dripped beads of sweat.\u00a0 His stringy hair hung down and he left quickly without shutting our door.\u00a0 Mom threw the daisies at him so the Mason jar broke on the gravel and she kicked our beaten door shut.<\/p>\n \u201cHalloween\u2019s over,\u201d she said.\u00a0 She picked up the bowl of candy and hugged it.\u00a0 \u201cThe rest is for us.\u201d<\/p>\n Shelton gathered the daisies from the ground.\u00a0 He got in his car, put the daisies on the passenger seat, and peeled out.\u00a0 He was flying down the drive when he hit the first speed bump, which gave his shocks an audible jar and he eased off.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat kind of A-hole speeds through the trailer park on Halloween?\u201d Mom said.<\/p>\n I couldn\u2019t stand the idea of sitting around our cramped table for yet another dinner.\u00a0 I expressed the sentiment with expletives and Mom said what the heck, it was Saturday, she\u2019d made good tips, the Fosters were going out.<\/p>\n When Sal, the cabby, got here he was dressed as a fisherman in a yellow slicker.\u00a0 Esau sat in front with him and said, \u201cO\u2019 Cap\u2019n, Ma Cap\u2019n!\u201d and, \u201cWala-wala ever-where and all the borscht did shrink!\u201d\u00a0 We pulled onto County Road Eleven and rode with the windows down.\u00a0 Sal blasted Porgy and Bess<\/em>.\u00a0 We were in a delta mood.\u00a0 I yelled, \u201cTaco King!\u00a0 Taco King!\u201d to the chorus of one of the musical numbers but Mom said \u201cNo.\u201d\u00a0 She wanted someplace she could drink.<\/p>\n \u201cShubmerged shafts of the shun,\u201d Esau said, \u201cshplit like shpun glash.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s up to Esau,\u201d Mom said.\u00a0 \u201cHe should decide.\u201d<\/p>\n Esau\u2019s mind was warped by TV.\u00a0 He had his heart set on one destination: Medieval Nights, where medieval fun was never out of fashion.\u00a0 It was the old high school gym filled with sawdust and they charged ten bucks to get in.\u00a0 There were melees between knights with maces and two-handed swords.\u00a0 They jousted on retired police horses that clip-clopped around the gym floor.\u00a0 The Casio player didn\u2019t know any songs, only the riff from \u201cAnother One Bites the Dust,\u201d which he repeated endlessly.\u00a0 We were encouraged to shout and no one was taken aback by Esau\u2019s spitting.\u00a0 Mom drank frothy mugs of mead.<\/p>\n I wrote \u201cJuliet\u201d on my nametag, Esau was \u201cGunter,\u201d and Mom became \u201cTess.\u201d\u00a0 We were led to a picnic table with a blue tablecloth.\u00a0 We sat at folding metal chairs covered with blue felt.\u00a0 Our attendant was also the sackbut player.\u00a0 She brought us a light-blue banner, which she placed in a hole in the middle of our table.\u00a0 She said the Pale-Blue Knight was our knight.\u00a0 \u201cThe Denim Knight,\u201d Mom called him.\u00a0 \u201cThe Fucked-Up Knight,\u201d Esau spat.\u00a0 He was the Rocky of knights, though, a comeback kid.\u00a0 We danced on our table and waved the blue banner.\u00a0 In the end, the Pale-Blue Knight won the day.<\/p>\n My little brother, Esau, came home from Boy Scout camp early this year with a busted mouth.\u00a0 He was playing Luke Skywalker versus Darth Vader with his puny Boy Scouts of America flashlight against Chad Miller who wielded a Mag-Lite.\u00a0 Two of Esau\u2019s teeth broke off, leaving a gap in the top of his mouth.\u00a0 […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":22,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false},"categories":[8],"tags":[20],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6Jypy-fy","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp0.vanderbilt.edu\/nashvillereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/964"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp0.vanderbilt.edu\/nashvillereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp0.vanderbilt.edu\/nashvillereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp0.vanderbilt.edu\/nashvillereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/22"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp0.vanderbilt.edu\/nashvillereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=964"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/wp0.vanderbilt.edu\/nashvillereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/964\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10488,"href":"https:\/\/wp0.vanderbilt.edu\/nashvillereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/964\/revisions\/10488"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp0.vanderbilt.edu\/nashvillereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=964"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp0.vanderbilt.edu\/nashvillereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=964"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp0.vanderbilt.edu\/nashvillereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=964"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}John Minichillo<\/a><\/h6>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"