<\/p>\n
Bruria had finally gotten over her last boyfriend and now she was dating PURE EVIL.\u00a0 PURE EVIL played the theremin and liked to eat fried things. PURE EVIL, when he laughed, laughed through clenched teeth. PURE EVIL was multilingual. PURE EVIL was uncircumcised. PURE EVIL had a chin so large it looked like a mistake. Often PURE EVIL liked to evacuate his essence from the prison of his flesh vessel and move through the world as a moist, gaseous haze; when he did this it seemed like he was nakeder than naked, and Bruria would feel each and every time a hot embarrassment on his behalf. Sometimes touching PURE EVIL felt like touching a man; sometimes touching PURE EVIL felt like touching syrup, if syrup were alive and also not syrup at all.\u00a0PURE EVIL lived across the street from a sex shop called Fantasy World; all night every night his bedroom pulsed with a purple light that washed through the window in sexy sexy waves. Bruria liked to watch the sexy light get big and small and big again while she fell asleep in PURE EVIL\u2019s arms. When he had arms. When he didn\u2019t, she pretended not to mind.<\/p>\n
Bruria\u2019s gynecologist looked up into Bruria with the help of a plastic light-up speculum and gasped.<\/p>\n
Bruria had complained, in the REASON FOR VISIT section of her Patient Update form, of a kind of stinging deep within\u00a0her that wasn\u2019t so much a stinging as it was a high and scared and vaguely musical call. It\u2019d started the first night she\u2019d had sex with PURE EVIL, but she was trying very hard not to see the two things as related.\u00a0It had started as a sneeze; now it was worse than a sneeze by far.<\/p>\n
\u201cJesus,\u201d said Bruria\u2019s gynecologist. \u201cJesus.\u201d<\/p>\n
Bruria raised her head to look at her gynecologist\u2019s pretty, half-masked face. \u201cWhat,\u201d Bruria asked, \u201cwhat?\u201d<\/p>\n
Bruria\u2019s gynecologist pulled the speculum from Bruria\u2019s vaginal canal and tossed it into a large, plastic-lined bin in the corner of the room. She pulled down her little mask, and with two snaps, she removed her pink latex gloves. She gestured with her chin toward Bruria’s vagina, her eyes wide, her jaw tight. \u201cI don\u2019t know what you\u2019ve been doing to it, but whatever you\u2019ve been doing, just leave it alone. Wear breathable underwear and whatever you\u2019ve been doing to it, just\u00a0stop <\/em>it and just leave it\u00a0alone<\/em>.\u201d\u00a0Bruria\u2019s gynecologist collected Bruria\u2019s chart and left the room, flicking through the pages of the chart, speaking to herself in what sounded like Latin.<\/p>\n Bruria knew that her gynecologist would charge her at least three hundred dollars for the visit because her gynecologist was always doing things like charging her three hundred dollars for a visit. Before leaving, as a small revenge, Bruria stole several maxi pads, a handful of large cotton swabs\u2014she\u2019d come up with a use for them\u2014 and, finally, out of the bin in the corner, with a hot sweat coming over her, she stole the plastic light-up speculum.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n PURE EVIL had a burgeoning mouse problem over at his otherwise beautiful apartment, and so lately he had been keeping all of his trash in the freezer, tied up neatly in THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU bags from the deli. On a Friday night, Bruria brought her cat to PURE EVIL\u2019s place to try and catch some mice\u2014it was the least she could do, as she and PURE EVIL had recently made things internet official\u2014but the cat stiffened and seized and died with a shriek upon setting its paws on the parquets of PURE EVIL\u2019s living-room floor.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m so sorry,\u201d PURE EVIL said, and he tied the cat up in a bag and put the cat in the freezer and then he fucked Bruria so hard that she forgot for a little while what a cat even was, even. The moment he finished PURE EVIL turned into a gas and floated up to the ceiling, and Bruria was left all alone in bed, sweaty and shaky-legged. Outside there was loud thick rain and the sound of one of PURE EVIL\u2019s upstairs neighbors blasting the\u00a0West Side Story<\/em>\u00a0soundtrack.<\/p>\n \u201cAnita\u2019s gonna get her kicks tonight,\u201d said the West Side Story <\/em>soundtrack, and Bruria heard PURE EVIL humming along. Purple light filled the room and flickered prettily. Bruria sat up in bed and looked out the window; across the street, there was a line out the door. Fantasy World was hopping.<\/p>\n Bruria\u2019s friends wanted to know everything about her boyfriend. They were a little worried by the fact that she was dating PURE EVIL, but a new man was a new man was a new man.<\/p>\n \u201cDish,\u201d they said, \u201cdish, bitch!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou guys,\u201d Bruria said, a smile on her face, supremely ready to dish, but quickly she realized that something was wrong. She couldn\u2019t picture PURE EVIL at all. Trying to conjure an image of PURE EVIL made Bruria feel as if she were trying to peer at him through a very small keyhole. She felt herself growing clammy with the effort of it.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat does he look like?\u201d they asked her. \u201cIs he handsome? Does he have all his hair? Is it big?\u201d They slurped their drinks with fury. \u201cDish,\u201d said Bruria\u2019s friends, \u201cdish, you big fucking cunt!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell,\u201d she said at last. She took a sip of her drink. \u201cHe is sometimes?\u201d<\/p>\n Bruria\u2019s friends look disappointed, but they pressed on, a feverish kind of curious in their drunkenness. \u201cWhat does he do<\/em>,\u201d they wanted to know. \u201cWhere does he work<\/em>?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cA startup,\u201d Bruria said, though now that she considered it actually maybe PURE EVIL was between jobs at the moment; maybe he was independently wealthy and needless of gainful employment.<\/p>\n \u201cIs he nice to you?\u201d<\/p>\n Bruria smiled a small coy smile. \u201cHe\u2019s\u00a0really<\/em>\u00a0nice to me.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut,\u201d Bruria\u2019s friends said, slurring their words, \u201che\u2019s PURE EVIL, isn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n Bruria reassured her friends that PURE EVIL was gentle, actually; and most definitely handsome, she was sure of it; and that he was special. She told her friends that it was narrow-minded of them to judge someone they hadn\u2019t ever even met.\u00a0\u201cPURE EVIL\u2019s a person, too,\u201d she said. She gulped her drink, aching to catch up. \u201cI think.\u201d<\/p>\n Bruria\u2019s shoulders tensed and throbbed. Her pelvis contracted. The base of her spine vibrated. The call was coming on. Bruria felt the urge to sneeze and then she did, all over the table, disgusting every one of her friends.<\/p>\n \u201cEw,\u201d said her friends.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m gonna go to the bathroom,\u201d Bruria said, wiping at her nose, trying to hold in the call\u2019s full volume until she got to a private place. \u201cI\u2019m gonna go to the bathroom,\u201d she said again, and then she got up and walked away, and she knew in her heart that the whole time she was gone from the table her friends would talk about her, wide-eyed, in low and nasty tones. For a second, she almost cared. Then she remembered that she had PURE EVIL; she remembered that she had such a great great love.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Bruria didn\u2019t see PURE EVIL for a whole week and when she finally did see him again his teeth were different than they\u2019d been before. His front two teeth pushed out like rabbit\u2019s teeth, like horse\u2019s teeth, and there was a small gap between them now, too. PURE EVIL acted like nothing was the matter. Bruria considered taking PURE EVIL\u2019s face in her hands and saying to him with tender eyes\u00a0What happened to your teeth, baby,\u00a0<\/em>but she didn\u2019t want to be rude, and she didn\u2019t want PURE EVIL to think that she valued the physical over the emotional, and she didn\u2019t want PURE EVIL to think that she was in any way a bad girlfriend.<\/p>\n \u201cDo you hear that,\u201d PURE EVIL asked, motioning toward Bruria\u2019s vagina while pouring her a glass of pink wine. Bruria said that she didn\u2019t hear a thing.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s like a boy\u2019s choir down there,\u201d PURE EVIL said, and he looked into Bruria\u2019s lap with great disgust.<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t hear it,\u201d Bruria lied, but PURE EVIL was on the ceiling already, a fine gas again, and there was wine all over the floor.<\/p>\n Bruria lost her job on account of the call.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n It\u2019s become\u2026 tormentous,<\/em>\u00a0her boss had said when firing her, all the while squeezing a red-rubber stress ball and gazing painedly at Bruria\u2019s crotch. She soon thereafter began working as a hostess at a restaurant that served many kinds of fried things. She told herself she\u2019d taken the hostessing job because the restaurant was low-key and close to her apartment, but really she\u2019d taken it so that she could maybe take some of the restaurant\u2019s sundry fried things home in to-go boxes at the end of the night and give them like rare jewels to PURE EVIL and thusly secure his undying affections.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m a feminist, still,\u201d Bruria said to herself in the mirror while donning her hostessing blacks. \u201cI am just in love.\u201d<\/p>\n Her insides whined. The whine sounded like a silver slide whistle. Bruria picked up the phone and rang her gynecologist\u2019s office.<\/p>\n \u201cHello,\u201d said her gynecologist\u2019s medical secretary.<\/p>\n \u201cHi,\u201d said Bruria, \u201cIt\u2019s Bruria\u2014\u201d but before Bruria could give the medical secretary her last name there was a whooshing noise and a scraping noise. \u201cHello?\u201d Bruria said. \u201cHello?\u201d<\/p>\n On the other end there was a whoosh of breath. \u201cDon\u2019t call here anymore,\u201d said a voice that Bruria recognized as her gynecologist\u2019s. \u201cPlease don\u2019t call here.\u201d The line went dead.<\/p>\n Bruria tossed her phone onto her bed and sighed. In her underwear drawer, she knew, was the plastic light-up speculum and a bottle of personal lubricant that smelled like sweat and marshmallows. If she wanted to, she could try to open herself up and see just what was what. She could take matters into her own hands. Instead, she pulled on an extra pair of tights. They were sweater-knit tights, and Bruria was pleased to find that they muffled the whine nicely.<\/p>\n That night when PURE EVIL answered the door to his apartment he looked disheveled and deeply stressed. His teeth, however, looked amazing. He had, Bruria supposed, gone to the dentist and gotten veneers. Or conjured veneers for himself. Or conjured for himself a new face entirely.<\/p>\n “You seem stressed,” Bruria said, reaching up to massage PURE EVIL’s left shoulder.<\/p>\n “I’ve decided to apply to some Ph.Ds,” PURE EVIL said. “It’s a lot of work.” There was a UC Santa Cruz brochure open on the kitchen table.<\/p>\n \u201cSanta Cruz,\u201d Bruria said. \u201cThat\u2019s very far away.\u201d<\/p>\n “I’m just thinking about it,” PURE EVIL said. He poured Bruria a glass of wine.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat would you study at UC Santa Cruz,\u201d Bruria asked.<\/p>\n \u201cUm,\u201d PURE EVIL said. \u201cAmerican Studies.\u201d He raised the wine bottle to his mouth and licked the bottle\u2019s neck. \u201cAlso they have this program in Games and Playable Medias.\u201d<\/p>\n “Your ex lives in Santa Cruz.\u201d<\/p>\n PURE EVIL shrugged. “A lot of people live in Santa Cruz.\u201d<\/p>\n “Don’t do that,” Bruria said.<\/p>\n PURE EVIL looked around the room as if to an audience. “Do what?” he asked.<\/p>\n Bruria sipped her wine. There was a lipstick print on the wine glass and it was not her lipstick print. Bruria studied the lipstick print. “I thought dating you I wouldn’t have to deal with this kind of thing.”<\/p>\n \u201cWhat kind of thing?\u201d<\/p>\n Just then a mouse ran loudly across the floor between them. PURE EVIL stepped on its tail and it screamed, half-caught beneath his huge black loafer. PURE EVIL laughed.<\/p>\n \u201cHoly shit,\u201d Bruria said over the mouse\u2019s screams, \u201cLet go, let go, that\u2019s fucking evil!\u201d<\/p>\n PURE EVIL stopped laughing and lifted his foot off of the mouse\u2019s tail and then he was on the ceiling, suddenly, in a rush of cool air. The UC Santa Cruz brochure fluttered shut.<\/p>\n Bruria realized with a horror what she\u2019d said, but it was too late. \u201cI\u2019m sorry,\u201d she cried. \u201cI\u2019m so sorry. I didn\u2019t mean it.\u201d<\/p>\n PURE EVIL made no answer. He drifted into the far corner of the kitchen, right above the fridge.<\/p>\n Bruria looked down at the floor, distraught and ashamed. The mouse was gone; its tail remained.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Bruria\u2019s mother called her to ask her if she was taking a multivitamin.\u00a0Bruria told her mother that she was not taking a multivitamin.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m sending you a women\u2019s multivitamin,\u201d Bruria\u2019s mother said. \u201cA young woman like you, you have to keep yourself healthy. You need to get enough roughage. And probiotics. Yogurt, and.\u201d<\/p>\n Bruria was on the street; cars and trucks drove by and made it difficult for Bruria to hear exactly what it was her mother was saying.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s difficult for me to hear what you\u2019re saying,\u201d Bruria shouted into her phone.<\/p>\n \u201cYou don\u2019t sound like yourself. Are you all right? Are you sick?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m feeling great,\u201d Bruria said. The little call had quieted down over the last few days. The weather had turned, and Bruria thought that maybe sunshine had cured her. This morning she\u2019d considered walking over to her old office and asking her old boss for her old job back. Her privates were totally silent! She felt brave and new and empty of worry! Even PURE EVIL had noticed a change.\u00a0Huh<\/em>, he\u2019d said the night before last, licking her clitoris.\u00a0Huh.\u00a0<\/em>Bruria\u2019d looked down at him and nodded.\u00a0Yup<\/em>, she\u2019d said. PURE EVIL had smiled and turned himself into a viscous purple tendril and gone<\/p>\n to<\/p>\n town.<\/p>\n A man with three teardrops tattooed on his face walked right into Bruria.\u00a0\u201c\u2019Scuse me Snowflake,\u201d he said, \u201cyou got a dollar?\u201d<\/p>\n Bruria had three quarters in her coat pocket. \u201cMy father\u2019s Brazilian,\u201d she told the man. \u201cSo please don\u2019t call me Snowflake.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou got a dollar or what?\u201d<\/p>\n Bruria put her quarters into the man\u2019s hand. \u201cI\u2019m\u00a0Brazilian<\/em>,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n \u201cWho are you taking to,\u201d Bruria\u2019s mother asked.<\/p>\n \u201cI ran into a friend,\u201d Bruria lied.<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s nice,\u201d Bruria\u2019s mother said. \u201cThat\u2019s nice that you run into your friends on the street there.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhen are you coming down to the city to meet my boyfriend,\u201d Bruria asked her mother.<\/p>\n \u201cSoon,\u201d her mother said. \u201cSoon. When your father gets back from S\u00e3o Paulo.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI told you,\u201d Bruria said to the tattooed man, and she held her phone aloft in what she thought was his direction, but he was already long gone.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Bruria was on her way to PURE EVIL\u2019s apartment, fritters in hand, after her seventh night in a row of hostessing. Earlier he\u2019d texted her: will you read my personal statement for santa cruz,<\/em> and Bruria had texted back: Sure!!!!!! Email it over!!!! Will take a look ASAP!!!! <\/em>She\u2019d added an emoji of a white woman and a white man kissing chastely with their mouths, though really she\u2019d wished there were an emoji of a half-Brazilian woman and a cloud of dark haze fucking each other as hard as they could with their inner, baddest parts.<\/p>\n As she\u2019d promised she would, she\u2019d read PURE EVIL\u2019S personal statement in hungry glimpses throughout her shift. She thought it showed promise, but needed some work. PURE EVIL, she thought, wasn\u2019t yet aptly showcasing his many gifts and talents within the allotted space. She was practicing what she would say to PURE EVIL about his personal statement when she got to his apartment. Brag a little! <\/em>she’d say, and shrug one shoulder in a cute way. She would not check her wine glass for lipstick prints. She would not call PURE EVIL the E-word. She would not stare at PURE EVIL’s ever-different teeth. Maybe tonight, they\u2019d be very tiny.<\/p>\n As Bruria neared PURE EVIL’s apartment she felt disoriented and out of place, as if something were missing from the landscape; she stopped short in front of a big green wall of plywood. There were some work permits pasted to the plywood. Men in yellow hardhats walked in and out of a break in the wall, munching snacks and laughing and smoking. Behind it, Bruria could see a crane. She could hear the crane\u2019s beep. The beep sounded a little bit like the call.<\/p>\n \u201cHey sweetheart,\u201d said one of the workmen.<\/p>\n \u201cHey beautiful,\u201d said another. \u201cYou look beautiful.\u201d<\/p>\n It took Bruria a minute, but she soon realized with a strange and lurching sadness what was missing from PURE EVIL\u2019s block.<\/p>\n \u201cYou tore down Fantasy World,\u201d Bruria said to one of the workmen.<\/p>\n \u201cYour pussy\u2019s the only Fantasy World I need, baby,\u201d said the workman.<\/p>\n Bruria felt a sneeze coming on, and she sneezed. She wondered what\u00a0her gynecologist was doing\u00a0at this very moment. She wondered if her father was back from Brazil. She sneezed again.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat\u2019s your name, dollface,\u201d shouted one of the workmen.<\/p>\n Bruria\u2019d never been called dollface. It felt incredible. \u201cDollface,\u201d she said, \u201cis my name.\u201d<\/p>\n Each and every workman laughed. Bruria made herself laugh along with them. Together they considered the tall and beeping crane.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Bruria pressed PURE EVIL\u2019s buzzer and he promptly buzzed her in, but she found that she could not make it up even one flight, so loud and so strong was the call. It took on a vibration and Bruria felt her asshole shiver. She sat down on the stairs to rest, and\u00a0heard the squeak of PURE EVIL\u2019s front door opening up two flights above her head.<\/p>\n \u201cBaby?\u201d he called. The vibration quickened.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m stuck,\u201d Bruria said.<\/p>\n PURE EVIL came barefoot down the stairs. His feet went pt pt pt <\/em>against the carpet, and every little pt<\/em> made the call grow stronger. Bruria wasn\u2019t so much in pain as she was, for the first time ever, aware of her body as a separate thing from the rest of her. PURE EVIL came into view, and Bruria\u2019s vagina screeched.<\/p>\n \u201cYou need help,\u201d PURE EVIL said. \u201cLet me help you.\u201d He tried to crouch down and put his sweater around her shoulders, but her vagina screamed and he backed away from her, crablike and quickly.<\/p>\n One of PURE EVIL\u2019s neighbors opened her door. She was in a towel. \u201cI\u2019m trying to watch my show,\u201d she said. \u201cMaks and Kendall are dancing the Viennese Waltz for the Mirrorball Trophy and I can\u2019t hear a goddamn fucking thing.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m sorry,\u201d Bruria said.<\/p>\n PURE EVIL\u2019s neighbor ignored her. She looked at PURE EVIL. \u201cYou always do this, right around the Dancing finale. Right when I\u2019ve forgotten what that fucking thing sounds like, there it is again.\u201d PURE EVIL\u2019s neighbor tried to imitate the sound of the call, but she couldn\u2019t even come close.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m sorry,\u201d PURE EVIL said. \u201cI\u2019m sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n His neighbor shut her door. PURE EVIL turned into a wan-looking gas and floated upstairs.<\/p>\n Once his door closed and locked Bruria felt a little better, and by the time she was on the train headed north across the bridge and back to her own borough, she felt better still.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Bruria went to a bookstore to look for a self-help book. In the self-help section of the bookstore there were books about getting over men who acted like children and books about getting over men who were narcissists and books about getting over men who had died of terrible and terminal illnesses, but no books about getting over men who were PURE EVIL. One shelf over stood Bruria’s gynecologist, dressed in casual clothes, looking through some cookbooks. Bruria wanted to approach her gynecologist and tell her that she was feeling much improved lately; she wanted to catch up, shoot the shit, perhaps float a couple questions about speculums. Tell her that she was taking a multivitamin now! See what she thought about multivitamins and their efficacy! Bruria was trying very hard to think of the right thing to say. Should she be funny? Should she be like: Remember me?, <\/em>and then point to her vagina? Should she say to her gynecologist, Hey, Snowflake, got a dollar?<\/em>\u00a0Nothing seemed right.<\/p>\n Bruria\u2019s gynecologist looked up from a cookbook about cakes and met Bruria’s gaze. Bruria’s gynecologist’s face contorted in horror.\u00a0She shelved the cookbook about cakes without looking. She shelved it incorrectly, with the vegan cookbooks.<\/p>\n “Hi!” Bruria said.<\/p>\n Bruria’s gynecologist crossed herself and backed away. She lifted her sweater; underneath she was wearing a small beige fanny pack. She unzipped the fanny pack and pulled from it a glittering golden vial.<\/p>\n \u201cCrux sacra sit mihi lux<\/em>,\u201d said the gynecologist. She unscrewed the vial\u2019s screw top. She flung water from the vial at Bruria. \u201cVade retro Satana<\/em>,\u201d said the gynecologist, \u201cIpse venena bias<\/em>!\u201d<\/p>\n The gynecologist ran. Bruria wiped her face. Shoppers were staring. A scene had been made. Bruria shelved the cake cookbook with the other baking guides and left.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n A week later, Bruria was in her parents\u2019 arms. Her chin was on her mother\u2019s shoulder and her arms were wrapped around both her parents\u2019 skinny waists. They were so skinny now. They were older and it was frightening. Bruria\u2019s parents\u2019 cats swirled in circles around the hug, swishing their tails and whining.<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re home,\u201d Bruria\u2019s father said in Portuguese.<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re home,\u201d he said in English.<\/p>\n Bruria\u2019s face stung from the cold. Her house smelled like it had always smelled. She didn\u2019t miss the city at all and she didn\u2019t tell her parents about anything of consequence that had happened to her while she\u2019d lived there.<\/p>\n Bruria\u2019s mother took her to the beauty parlor to get her roots touched up even though she’d told her mother that visible roots were the look now. Bruria\u2019s mother would not have visible roots in her house. Bruria\u2019s father took her to the movies and they saw a sad movie about outer space. Bruria played with her parents\u2019 fluffy cats and applied for jobs and masturbated quietly in her childhood bed and when the fact that she did miss the city crept close she pushed it away. Sometimes in her nightmares PURE EVIL\u2019s dick was right up in her face and it was a bright color, blue or magenta. Her vagina, in her hometown, was silent, and when Bruria took her vagina for a visit with her mother\u2019s gynecologist at Christmastime the gynecologist found nothing remarkable about it at all.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Within a month Bruria found work as a salesgirl in a very normal department store in her hometown mall, and then, within a year, she was training for a role as a manager. She developed a talent for sales and accrued an impressive number of loyal customers who liked shopping best when they shopped with her. She remembered everyone\u2019s sizes; she wrapped everyone\u2019s gifts with skill. Daily she ate her lunches at the food court salad bar. One week, she tried exercise, but it just didn\u2019t take. She signed up for a Japanese cooking class and got biweekly pedicures and anytime an email came from anyone in her past she archived it without reading what it said. She read all the books she\u2019d been meaning to read and hated them all. She attended some soft-rock concerts featuring local bands who all sounded like the Dave Matthews Band, and at one of the concerts she met a kind man who was hard of hearing in his left ear\u2014his childhood dog, a Shiba named Spuds, had mangled it.<\/p>\n They went on several dates and kissed with tongue and without and one night in a flurry of tongue-kissing they declared exclusivity. Soon\u2014Too soon<\/em>, Bruria\u2019s mother said\u2014they moved in together, and they made coffee in the morning and curry and rice at night and were careful not to ever go too long without having sex. This new man\u2019s teeth never changed, and his face never changed, and when he left the room Bruria could remember what he looked like because he always looked the same. His arms were always attached to his body and he was not interested in going for his Ph.D., now or ever. There was no sex shop in sight and everyone stayed in their skins where they belonged. Bruria\u2019s vagina kept quiet like a Swiss mountain village covered in snow, and on warm nights in bed she tossed and she turned and she thought about how her life, at last, had become an unassailable fortress of normalcy.<\/p>\n Bruria had finally gotten over her last boyfriend and now she was dating PURE EVIL.\u00a0 PURE EVIL played the theremin and liked to eat fried things. PURE EVIL, when he laughed, laughed through clenched teeth. PURE EVIL was multilingual. PURE EVIL was uncircumcised. PURE EVIL had a chin so large it looked like a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1425,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false},"categories":[54],"tags":[20],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6Jypy-3Fg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp0.vanderbilt.edu\/nashvillereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14090"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp0.vanderbilt.edu\/nashvillereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp0.vanderbilt.edu\/nashvillereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp0.vanderbilt.edu\/nashvillereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1425"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp0.vanderbilt.edu\/nashvillereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=14090"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/wp0.vanderbilt.edu\/nashvillereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14090\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":14136,"href":"https:\/\/wp0.vanderbilt.edu\/nashvillereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14090\/revisions\/14136"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp0.vanderbilt.edu\/nashvillereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=14090"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp0.vanderbilt.edu\/nashvillereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=14090"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp0.vanderbilt.edu\/nashvillereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=14090"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}ALEXANDRA TANNER<\/a><\/h6>\n
<\/h6>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"