{"id":12865,"date":"2016-08-01T00:00:06","date_gmt":"2016-08-01T06:00:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp0.vanderbilt.edu\/nashvillereview\/?p=12865"},"modified":"2016-07-31T21:54:37","modified_gmt":"2016-08-01T03:54:37","slug":"elegy-for-the-first","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wp0.vanderbilt.edu\/nashvillereview\/archives\/12865","title":{"rendered":"Elegy for the First"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Our family never understood why you never married<br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #ffffff\">______________<\/span>why you didn\u2019t have children.<br \/>\nMother, going on &amp; on about her friends at bingo<br \/>\nwho could\u2019ve used a man<span style=\"color: #ffffff\">________<\/span>like you<br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #ffffff\">________<\/span>around the house.<br \/>\nI ask her about the man in the front row\u2014<br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #ffffff\">______________<\/span><em>the roommate,<\/em> she says.<span style=\"color: #ffffff\">_____<\/span>Instead<br \/>\nof the diagnosis,<span style=\"color: #ffffff\">________<\/span>instead of explaining<br \/>\nhow or why, isn\u2019t it enough to say:<br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #ffffff\">______________<\/span><em>no more?<\/em><span style=\"color: #ffffff\">________<\/span>Who has time<br \/>\nfor better dreams than these? Pray for a miracle<br \/>\nor a good night\u2019s sleep, won&#8217;t you?<span style=\"color: #ffffff\">______<\/span>Pray<br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #ffffff\">________<\/span>for the right ghosts<span style=\"color: #ffffff\">_____<\/span>to walk you<br \/>\nto the end of each season.<br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #ffffff\">______________<\/span>Uncle, a story before you sleep:<br \/>\nhere, a child<span style=\"color: #ffffff\">___________<\/span>dressed in dust.<br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #ffffff\">_____________________<\/span>This time you wait for him<br \/>\nbefore you leave.<span style=\"color: #ffffff\">_____________<\/span>Here, another:<br \/>\nonce, I ran, face first, into a mirror<br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #ffffff\">________<\/span>shattering it, because I didn\u2019t recognize<br \/>\nmy reflection, because I didn\u2019t see a reflection at all.<br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #ffffff\">________<\/span>I feel each shard<span style=\"color: #ffffff\">______<\/span>opening me<br \/>\nas I walk toward you &amp; that man, now standing beside<br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #ffffff\">________<\/span>your open casket. He is there<br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #ffffff\">____________________________<\/span>in every photograph<br \/>\nof you smiling.<span style=\"color: #ffffff\">______<\/span>I want to kiss him.<br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #ffffff\">________<\/span>I want to take him into me, soften his body<br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #ffffff\">________<\/span>with my heat<span style=\"color: #ffffff\">_________<\/span>&amp; inherit<br \/>\nany pulse you might\u2019ve left behind.<span style=\"color: #ffffff\">______<\/span><em>I\u2019m sorry<br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #ffffff\">________<\/span>for your loss,<\/em><span style=\"color: #ffffff\">____<\/span>I say,<span style=\"color: #ffffff\">___<\/span>or he says<br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #ffffff\">______________<\/span>or neither of us say, I\u2019m not sure.<br \/>\nI have so many questions. I trace<br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #ffffff\">______________<\/span>your mouth counterclockwise<br \/>\nbut<span style=\"color: #ffffff\">____<\/span>you do not answer.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/wp0.vanderbilt.edu\/nashvillereview\/archives\/12804\"><\/p>\n<h6>Hieu Minh Nguyen<\/h6>\n<p><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Our family never understood why you never married ______________why you didn\u2019t have children. Mother, going on &amp; on about her friends at bingo who could\u2019ve used a man________like you ________around the house. I ask her about the man in the front row\u2014 ______________the roommate, she says._____Instead of the diagnosis,________instead of explaining how or why, isn\u2019t [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":647,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false},"categories":[48],"tags":[25],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6Jypy-3lv","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp0.vanderbilt.edu\/nashvillereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12865"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp0.vanderbilt.edu\/nashvillereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp0.vanderbilt.edu\/nashvillereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp0.vanderbilt.edu\/nashvillereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/647"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp0.vanderbilt.edu\/nashvillereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12865"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/wp0.vanderbilt.edu\/nashvillereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12865\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13042,"href":"https:\/\/wp0.vanderbilt.edu\/nashvillereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12865\/revisions\/13042"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp0.vanderbilt.edu\/nashvillereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12865"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp0.vanderbilt.edu\/nashvillereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=12865"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp0.vanderbilt.edu\/nashvillereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=12865"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}